Focal Points
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As I move towards the life I want, which at different moments feels like sprinting in an open field on a cool and breezy day, or arranging books on shelves one after another after another, or sighing at the sight of a tall brick wall (which might simply topple over the moment I dare to press against it), I am fascinated by the power of directing my attention. By choosing where to focus I can put myself in a state of confidence or despair or excitement. There's that saying about how you can't escape yourself: Wherever you go, there you are. My version would change one word: Wherever you focus, there you are. The failures don't have to be anything more than interesting lore. As long as I'm participating in the conversation about my life through intentional actions, I will get feedback. What a gift! Focus is by no means a solo game. We are always communicating to others what parts of ourselves to focus on. I spent time with a group somewhat distant from my usual social circles, and I told them about one specific half of my career pursuits: the half that is most similar to their careers, that half that told them that I belong and that I won't disrupt what they have going on. But that's just a story I chose to focus on. How could I know what would happen if I were to tell them about the other half? Focusing on something as opposed to avoiding it is one way of knowing what is true. I don't have to punish myself for a truth that I would rather not be true. Instead, I can focus on it without judgment and be grateful to have a better understanding of my current reality. Right now, I am afraid of people yelling at me as a consequence of me pursuing the life I want, and that's okay. What have you been focusing on lately? What would you like to focus on more? |
@strangestloop
Asking is a skill which also makes it a game. It's a cooperative game between the asker and the askee and I'm going to describe a few examples I was in close proximity to recently in order to see what this game involves: The group asked for the delicious off-menu dessert and they got it. They had an advantage in that there was only upside. Since they weren't attached to getting the dessert, their circumstances would either stay as they were or they would get better. So an acceptance of any...
I have no words on this newsletter day, instead there's a pleasant combination of body relaxation and mental emptiness. As a frequent thinker this quiet in my head feels wonderful. I have been practicing boredom and gratitude and being with things as they are rather than wishing they were different. When negativity arrives I get to be with it, and then when I arrive at emotional neutrality I can overcome the negativity, which feels increasingly important to me. The obstacles are the point....
When I find myself facing a temptation lately, remembering that the opposite is the medicine soothes me. I do the difficult task and abstain from the unhealthy food and tell myself the uncomfortable truth. These things don't feel good in the moment, but responding to life's tests by doing the opposite of what my habitual lower energy pattern would have me do is my self-loving, self-helping medicine. Knowing that makes it a bit easier to stomach. It's these small victories, these little...