Notes on Shadow
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For this edition of the newsletter I am sharing excerpts from my notes from a lecture on the shadow that I attended in March which was led by Someone who Knows: The shadow can contain amazing qualities, but it is dark and mysterious and taboo. "I'm not a thief, but I steal from convenience stores when I'm drunk." This is an attempt to return to psychic wholeness, to acknowledge what is suppressed within us. Light: "I want to save everyone!" // Shadow: Uncompassionate acts. The shadow arrives when we are relaxed or tired. Light: "I'm LGBTQ+ friendly!" // Shadow: But actually not so much for trans people. We might enjoy having our boundaries crossed. We might enjoy crossing other people's boundaries. You can own your desire without acting on it: detached desire. Attachment: Needs from the chronically unmet self. "If you can't put something down, why?" When making sweeping generalizations, what we judge is in the shadow. "Oh my god in America everyone's dietary needs and neurodivergence is so much!" -> SHADOW Breadcrumb: Radical Honesty by Brad Blanton... RH with self, RH with others on a need-to-know basis, tearing down the identities that people place on you. Meet people's messes with compassion, understanding, and acceptance. Get curious, ask questions, assume the best in others. Things I made:
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@strangestloop
When I find myself facing a temptation lately, remembering that the opposite is the medicine soothes me. I do the difficult task and abstain from the unhealthy food and tell myself the uncomfortable truth. These things don't feel good in the moment, but responding to life's tests by doing the opposite of what my habitual lower energy pattern would have me do is my self-loving, self-helping medicine. Knowing that makes it a bit easier to stomach. It's these small victories, these little...
A few weeks ago an impromptu collaboration on Twitter led to the creation of this meme: via @christineist on Twitter I enjoy and appreciate the many self-other love and growth loops in my life, and I think there is a lot to be gained from internalizing that you get to be your own friend. It's simple but not always easy: treat yourself how you want your friends to treat you. See the good in who you are and what you do. Take good care of yourself. When you're your own friend, your friendships...
My friend asked me: How did you find the questions you are most curious about, that you are asking constantly, that you are investigating with your life? How would you help someone else to find their own questions, their own curiosity? What does the activity of considering that bring up for you? And I answered: How I found the questions feels like a fish in water scenario. There's probably things from childhood that generated my fascination with other-connection, self-connection, creativity,...