A Stronger Sense of Self
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The question I want to explore here is: How can I analyze my inner and outer circumstances in a way that benefits the reader? That is the north star. I noticed that I didn't feel particularly good after my Sacred Eros page went live a few days ago. Why not? I'm doing an expansive thing! I'm putting myself out there! I'm following my intuition! This is good! The reason is that I have a lot of resistance around marketing myself, around letting myself be seen. This has been true for Masculine Witness, a similar offering of mine which has not had any clients, and less-true-but-still-true for my career situation seeking work as a frontend software developer. Why? I have been at times sensitive to the public nature of the internet. I was attacked for posting things I thought were fine at the time, and I let those attacks hurt me emotionally. So the growth path for me is to let go, really let go of how the things I share are received, and let go of a lack of interest. I can develop a stronger sense of self that does not waver in the wake of strong criticism. I am not defined by how other people see me, my ideas, and my offerings. I don't need anyone else's approval. Takeaways for me: Post my stuff more often, post about Masculine Witness, post about Find Your Breakthrough, keep career posting. Talk about myself in ways that feel good to me. Be patient and act deliberately. A timely chat with a friend also reminded me that we attract what we are. As long as I continue to practice courage, generosity, and openness, I am taking care of myself. My feelings around marketing are also top of mind for me because they exist in such stark contrast to how I've felt about myself while doing 75 Hard. I feel great, I look great, I've effortlessly dropped a noticeable amount of my bodyweight (great) while eating delicious high protein meals and snacking. I look forward to a time when my career has similar clarity. One hidden lesson of 75 Hard revealed itself to me when I failed it. On day 54 I overate by about 100 calories, game over. But so what? I didn't feel bad about it at all after I triple-checked the math. I don't care about whether or not I did various things 75 days in a row. My body is still thriving. My mind is still grateful for all of the books I've been reading. I am finishing out the 75 days through mid-November even though I don't get to tell people I did it successfully, because it feels good to take care of myself. The ease with which I've 75 Harded contrasted with my career uncertainty makes me think about the nature of obstacles. When an obstacle arises, sometimes the move is to stick with it and keep going, and sometimes the move is to reroute to an easier path. Discernment, awareness, intuition. I want to notice contraction and fear in any area of my life as soon as it arises and take intelligent actions to address it. I want to grow in service of the intersection of what I have to offer and what other people want. I want to cause effects in my life and not merely respond to external circumstances. I want to live gloriously. Things I made:
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@strangestloop
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