10 Things I Know


  1. I know that the mind can’t do it alone. Emotions tell us how it feels, the body provides energy and the foundation from which to act, and the spirit offers a vision of where to go and why it matters. Mind and emotions, body and spirit, they all have wisdom to share.
  2. I know that one reason dating culture is zonked right now is because there’s too much emphasis on “What do I want? What can I get?” and not enough emphasis on “What do I value? What can I give?”
  3. I know that optimizing for fun and optimizing for connection are in direct conflict sometimes. It may be useful to mourn the path not taken.
  4. I know that asking without attachment to the answer is a gift to the one who receives the ask.
  5. I know that more mistakes are made from going too quickly than from going too slowly. If in doubt, err on the side of going too slowly. This allows for more space for intentionality.
  6. I know that expectations you set for yourself can be a form of tyranny. You can scale down the requirements without reprimand. Give yourself permission to do a little less without guilt or shame.
  7. I know that seitan, oatmeal, and protein shakes are superfoods for anyone experimenting with eating vegetarian. Also eggs but they weren’t a staple for me personally.
  8. I know that although it may feel cathartic in the moment to talk about what you don’t like, you’re going to attract more enjoyable and higher quality conversations by talking about what you like.
  9. I know that direct outreach is an underrated form of communication. Send the email or the DM, and make sure that it’s concise, that reading the message is a good use of the recipient’s time, and that you ask for something that would require little effort from them.
  10. I know that a little humor goes a long way. A bit of whimsy offered when someone’s not expecting it just might be a highlight of their day. The dose matters here, a drop is better than a downpour. Don’t be Robin Williams, be you.

This post’s format is entirely stolen from Sasha Chapin, who knows five times as many things as I know.

Things I made:

  • Tweeter's Digest Episode 15: a conversation with my friend Adelyn about female friendships and interactions, sex work, romance in client interactions, overt vs. covert sexuality, traditional vs. non-traditional life paths, and hacking twitter.
  • Surrender: my tenth portal! Portals are unique internet art experiences and are best enjoyed on a computer with sound on.
  • A Life of Luxury: an essay.

Thank you for reading! You can share this post with this link. Check out my tapistree to keep up with everything I do on the internet, including my coaching and emotional spaceholding services.

@strangestloop

Read more from @strangestloop

On a recent neighborhood walk I noticed and appreciated what I looked at as though it were an art gallery and that got me thinking about how I can appreciate the details in my awareness in all moments and that got me thinking about the importance of paying attention to what I pay attention to. I continue to pull on the red Kabbalah string and its lessons continue to be comforting and clarifying and inspiring. There is an emphasis on noticing the tendency to unconsciously react and instead...

I have been really enjoying loving presence lately. I believe it is an underutilized and underappreciated orientation towards any situation in life, but especially those where there is resistance or discomfort. But what is loving presence? It is simply to be both loving and present with whatever is in front of you. It is not partial presence, distracted by a screen or thoughts of the past or the future. It is not partial love, insisting that someone needs to be different than how they are. If...

A few simple things I've been doing have me feeling amazing this morning. I have been enjoying receiving lessons from Kabbalah. This morning I prayed outside for five minutes. When I speak these prayers, I ask to change myself: "Creator, please help me..." I was up last night reading a book. I noticed that I was in the magical hours where 10pm becomes midnight in the blink of an eye. I put the book down and got in bed before 11pm. Using mouth tape and an eye mask also improves my sleep...