10 Things I Know


  1. I know that the mind can’t do it alone. Emotions tell us how it feels, the body provides energy and the foundation from which to act, and the spirit offers a vision of where to go and why it matters. Mind and emotions, body and spirit, they all have wisdom to share.
  2. I know that one reason dating culture is zonked right now is because there’s too much emphasis on “What do I want? What can I get?” and not enough emphasis on “What do I value? What can I give?”
  3. I know that optimizing for fun and optimizing for connection are in direct conflict sometimes. It may be useful to mourn the path not taken.
  4. I know that asking without attachment to the answer is a gift to the one who receives the ask.
  5. I know that more mistakes are made from going too quickly than from going too slowly. If in doubt, err on the side of going too slowly. This allows for more space for intentionality.
  6. I know that expectations you set for yourself can be a form of tyranny. You can scale down the requirements without reprimand. Give yourself permission to do a little less without guilt or shame.
  7. I know that seitan, oatmeal, and protein shakes are superfoods for anyone experimenting with eating vegetarian. Also eggs but they weren’t a staple for me personally.
  8. I know that although it may feel cathartic in the moment to talk about what you don’t like, you’re going to attract more enjoyable and higher quality conversations by talking about what you like.
  9. I know that direct outreach is an underrated form of communication. Send the email or the DM, and make sure that it’s concise, that reading the message is a good use of the recipient’s time, and that you ask for something that would require little effort from them.
  10. I know that a little humor goes a long way. A bit of whimsy offered when someone’s not expecting it just might be a highlight of their day. The dose matters here, a drop is better than a downpour. Don’t be Robin Williams, be you.

This post’s format is entirely stolen from Sasha Chapin, who knows five times as many things as I know.

Things I made:

  • Tweeter's Digest Episode 15: a conversation with my friend Adelyn about female friendships and interactions, sex work, romance in client interactions, overt vs. covert sexuality, traditional vs. non-traditional life paths, and hacking twitter.
  • Surrender: my tenth portal! Portals are unique internet art experiences and are best enjoyed on a computer with sound on.
  • A Life of Luxury: an essay.

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@strangestloop

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