Every Void Gets Filled
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Time is the ultimate constraint. Anything that happens takes time, and to expect to accomplish something without putting in the time to make it happen is a fantasy. A few weeks ago I tweeted: gentle reminder that less time spent scrolling creates a void that must necessarily be filled by something else. I seem to be looping back on my most popular talking point. Yes, desires and intentions and plans are wonderful for providing clarity and having the right mindset, but that's all pointless if you never actually do the thing. The filled void frame has been helpful for me lately in its simplicity: when I allocate time for a project, and I make it clear to myself that the allocated time is for the project and nothing else, then I necessarily make progress on the project. This progress might consist of visible progress like more words and new features, as well as invisible progress like trying something that doesn't work and exploring a different approach. But progress is only possible because I created a void to be filled by progress: I am choosing not to scroll social media, not to look at my phone, not to read newsletters ;^) It's perhaps an obvious point, but I think it's good for anyone to state the obvious in their own words. Have you tried setting aside time to focus on solving the problem? Things I made:
I am going to post a short essay every day in February on my Substack. Here are my favorite posts from the last time I wrote every day for a month: The RAMP Mindset, Polyamory and Status, Tacit Knowledge. This newsletter marks the 1-year anniversary of my coaching service! My clients have told me that my questions and reflections gently challenge their stories about what's happening without judgment. If you would like to have a call with me but the cost is an issue, please reach out. Thank you for reading! You can share this post with this link. If you want to support my work, you can check out my 1-1 coaching service or explore my website or buy me more time. |
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I was planning to write an analogous story about a kid who goes to summer camp but it doesn't feel right to drop breadcrumbs. Your attention is precious and I care too much about what I'm doing to be cute about it so I'm going to feed you the damn sandwich. My love of connecting with people is the seed that grew the roots of my coaching offering which sprouted Masculine Witness which has blossomed into what I am learning and practicing and offering now. I have attended two in-person trainings...
I am an addict. At the festival a priestess asked us to write our sins on a slip of paper, fold it up and place it in a spherical glass bowl. I wrote: I habitually overeat and undersleep and overscroll. I don't want you to know these things about me for various egoic reasons, but allowing myself to be seen and known has been wonderful medicine for me lately, so now you know. An addiction means that someone knows that the thing is harmful, but they do the thing anyway. I know. I know as I do...
On a recent neighborhood walk I noticed and appreciated what I looked at as though it were an art gallery and that got me thinking about how I can appreciate the details in my awareness in all moments and that got me thinking about the importance of paying attention to what I pay attention to. I continue to pull on the red Kabbalah string and its lessons continue to be comforting and clarifying and inspiring. There is an emphasis on noticing the tendency to unconsciously react and instead...