Every Void Gets Filled
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Time is the ultimate constraint. Anything that happens takes time, and to expect to accomplish something without putting in the time to make it happen is a fantasy. A few weeks ago I tweeted: gentle reminder that less time spent scrolling creates a void that must necessarily be filled by something else. I seem to be looping back on my most popular talking point. Yes, desires and intentions and plans are wonderful for providing clarity and having the right mindset, but that's all pointless if you never actually do the thing. The filled void frame has been helpful for me lately in its simplicity: when I allocate time for a project, and I make it clear to myself that the allocated time is for the project and nothing else, then I necessarily make progress on the project. This progress might consist of visible progress like more words and new features, as well as invisible progress like trying something that doesn't work and exploring a different approach. But progress is only possible because I created a void to be filled by progress: I am choosing not to scroll social media, not to look at my phone, not to read newsletters ;^) It's perhaps an obvious point, but I think it's good for anyone to state the obvious in their own words. Have you tried setting aside time to focus on solving the problem? Things I made:
I am going to post a short essay every day in February on my Substack. Here are my favorite posts from the last time I wrote every day for a month: The RAMP Mindset, Polyamory and Status, Tacit Knowledge. This newsletter marks the 1-year anniversary of my coaching service! My clients have told me that my questions and reflections gently challenge their stories about what's happening without judgment. If you would like to have a call with me but the cost is an issue, please reach out. Thank you for reading! You can share this post with this link. If you want to support my work, you can check out my 1-1 coaching service or explore my website or buy me more time. |
@strangestloop
"Get back here!" I find myself shouting at my focus at times, but that's just a story. The internal tug-of-war isn't real. I could stop giving my attention to the distraction at any time, but I instead let the avoidance process run its course, and then I am resourced to do the task. Let me just run eight miles first, thinking intermittently about the message I want to send, and then I will feel resourced to send it and possibly receive a response that is not to my liking. I am practicing...
Asking is a skill which also makes it a game. It's a cooperative game between the asker and the askee and I'm going to describe a few examples I was in close proximity to recently in order to see what this game involves: The group asked for the delicious off-menu dessert and they got it. They had an advantage in that there was only upside. Since they weren't attached to getting the dessert, their circumstances would either stay as they were or they would get better. So an acceptance of any...
I have no words on this newsletter day, instead there's a pleasant combination of body relaxation and mental emptiness. As a frequent thinker this quiet in my head feels wonderful. I have been practicing boredom and gratitude and being with things as they are rather than wishing they were different. When negativity arrives I get to be with it, and then when I arrive at emotional neutrality I can overcome the negativity, which feels increasingly important to me. The obstacles are the point....