The Gift of Patience
Instant relief is always at your fingertips. Want a boost? Here's some food / drugs / porn / attention. There's an app for that. There's a million apps for that. How many industries would collapse if everyone understood that you can just be with the feeling? You can just be sad or scared or angry or lonely or uncertain. Step aside, phone. The world's ultimate entertainment is even more addictive. It's the mind, with its oh-so-neat and tidy explanations for everything. A causes B, don't you see? Everything is a monocausality. The mind can also spin a real yarn about how it's not going to work out or how they hate you or how there's no point in even trying. These stories thrive when taken Oh So Seriously, as though they were delivered by a solemn-faced man in a gray suit with a deep baritone voice. You wouldn't challenge a story someone tells at a funeral. When the mind demands a remedy for a feeling or to give its pessimistic explanation, the ultimate act of self-compassion is to be. Just be with those feelings. Give them your full attention, maybe close your eyes or look out a window and be with yourself. Give yourself the gift of patience, without needing whatever is happening in your mind to resolve itself. Be with the discomfort. Something will happen. I made a mapping of chains of concepts that are important to me. So many arrows point to "Relax." It can be difficult for me to relax. I have stories that I'm not doing enough or that I'm not going quickly enough or that I'm not smart enough. And I can be tempted to seek immediate relief. But when I let myself be with the stories, I can tap into a deeper, embodied confidence that I will figure it out. I've always figured it out. There's no reason to think that this time will be different. Things I made:
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I was planning to write an analogous story about a kid who goes to summer camp but it doesn't feel right to drop breadcrumbs. Your attention is precious and I care too much about what I'm doing to be cute about it so I'm going to feed you the damn sandwich. My love of connecting with people is the seed that grew the roots of my coaching offering which sprouted Masculine Witness which has blossomed into what I am learning and practicing and offering now. I have attended two in-person trainings...
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On a recent neighborhood walk I noticed and appreciated what I looked at as though it were an art gallery and that got me thinking about how I can appreciate the details in my awareness in all moments and that got me thinking about the importance of paying attention to what I pay attention to. I continue to pull on the red Kabbalah string and its lessons continue to be comforting and clarifying and inspiring. There is an emphasis on noticing the tendency to unconsciously react and instead...