The Gift of Patience


Instant relief is always at your fingertips. Want a boost? Here's some food / drugs / porn / attention. There's an app for that. There's a million apps for that. How many industries would collapse if everyone understood that you can just be with the feeling? You can just be sad or scared or angry or lonely or uncertain.

Step aside, phone. The world's ultimate entertainment is even more addictive. It's the mind, with its oh-so-neat and tidy explanations for everything. A causes B, don't you see? Everything is a monocausality. The mind can also spin a real yarn about how it's not going to work out or how they hate you or how there's no point in even trying. These stories thrive when taken Oh So Seriously, as though they were delivered by a solemn-faced man in a gray suit with a deep baritone voice. You wouldn't challenge a story someone tells at a funeral.

When the mind demands a remedy for a feeling or to give its pessimistic explanation, the ultimate act of self-compassion is to be. Just be with those feelings. Give them your full attention, maybe close your eyes or look out a window and be with yourself. Give yourself the gift of patience, without needing whatever is happening in your mind to resolve itself. Be with the discomfort. Something will happen.

I made a mapping of chains of concepts that are important to me. So many arrows point to "Relax." It can be difficult for me to relax. I have stories that I'm not doing enough or that I'm not going quickly enough or that I'm not smart enough. And I can be tempted to seek immediate relief. But when I let myself be with the stories, I can tap into a deeper, embodied confidence that I will figure it out. I've always figured it out. There's no reason to think that this time will be different.

Things I made:

  • The Seer: an interactive fictional essay
  • Keytween: a quick typing game
  • Tweeter's Digest Episode 11: a conversation with my friend Doro on womanhood
  • Memex: a visual mapping of chains of concepts that are important to me
  • Thread of my creative highlights over the past three years

I am for hire! I am seeking employment as a frontend software developer at a startup in the mental health, energy, and personal finance industries. I have 5 years of experience across 2 startups, and I enjoy collaborating in small teams, moving quickly, and learning on the job in alignment with company goals. If you know of a good opportunity, please email loopstrangest@gmail.com

Find your breakthrough: I offer a pay-what-you-want coaching service where I help you get unstuck, figure out a next step, or get clarity during a one-hour video call. My approach is to uncover the bottleneck of your situation by following my curiosity, and to explore that bottleneck with you. Learn more about the service here.

Get your gadget: I make simple and elegant browser tools to improve your internet experience. Here are some freely available ones: a GIF maker, a display of scores for Twitter accounts, and a display of daily time spent on Twitter. Learn more about the service here.

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@strangestloop

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